Matt and Drew are full o’ beans and so’s their old mans, with 2013’s JACK THE GIANT SLAYER! Giant script rewrites, giant cliches, giant gentleman badasses and giant dei ex machina. Plus, Drew loves The Illusionist…and REO Speedwagon.
Matt and Drew watch a book adaptation that’s actually pretty okay, 1985’s THE BLACK CAULDRON! Disney gets dark, forced pig prophecies, witches don’t give it away for free and the difference between adaptations that respect the spirit of the book and adaptations that reject the spirit of the book…oh, wait…THAT’S the difference. Plus, Drew draws one too many comparisons to Lord Of The Rings for Matt’s taste.
Quick programming note…this episode was recorded before the Kubo And The Two Strings episode.
Matt and Drew tackle more dragon stuff with 1981’s DRAGONSLAYER! I guess we’re on Earth, turd hats, virgin sacrifices and possibly the best dragon in film history. Plus, Drew asks a fisherman if he’s ever fished.
Matt and Drew are sworn to valor with 1996’s DRAGONHEART! Random spikes, dragon parole officers, fire snot and the Code! Plus, Drew snaps into a Slim Jim, oooooh yeah!
Matt and Drew are survivors cast upon the rocky shores of 1977’s SINBAD AND THE EYE OF THE TIGER! Crisis On Infinite Supermen, more monkeys in more pictures, the doofusiest wisest man in the world and seagull-footed witches. Plus, Drew completely agrees with the assessment that Ray Harryhausen is a freakin’ genius!
Matt and Drew tackle their first animated fantasy with 1977’s WIZARDS! Columbo the wizard, string-bikini-clad full-fledged fairies, song-and-dance rabbis and you know…for kids! Plus, Drew uses an excess of euphemisms for breasts.
Matt and Drew find disconcertingly little to complain about with 1985’s LEGEND! Archetypal blank slates, familiar fairy faces, that’s neither here nor there and the best damned makeup ever put to film. Plus, Drew gets happy birthday wishes for the second day in a row.
Matt and Drew return to some old stomping grounds with 2015’s MYTHICA: THE DARKSPORE! Surprise elves, gojiberry pies, little marmots and even more Kevin Sorbo. Plus, Drew starts things off with a little leftover haggis.
Matt takes this one solo with the entirety of THE HIGHLANDER FILM SERIES! Spanish-Japanese-Egyptians with Scottish accents, Highland Scotsmen with Swiss accents, rapidly declining villain quality and the crippling weight of arbitrary rules. Plus, Drew doesn’t show up even once.
Matt and Drew wish the Dark was rising a little less stupidly with 2007’s THE SEEKER! Why is the Black Rider riding a white horse? Why is Ian McShane playing Merriman Lyon? Why are the Stantons American? And why is Will a 14-year-old douche? Among countless other questions. Plus, Drew crumbles under the crushing weight of Matt’s disdain for this desecration of his childhood literary favorite.